The Childhood Tutor

See updated information in the Curriculum and Tips sections.

Many preschools have well developed programs with wonderful projects that stimulate creativity and foster intellectual and cognitive growth. They are fun and colorful. The children are excited when they see the activity laid out on the table, ready for their own special stamp on the finished masterpiece. They smile and beam with pride as they eagerly wait for mom and dad to see what they have made.

Some schools, however, are still using the tired and outdated worksheets as projects. The plain white paper with lots of little letters and/or numbers typed neatly across the page, waiting for someone to write the correct answer on it or copy it letter for letter… to please someone else.

There are way too many websites out there with pages and pages of wonderful ideas all offered to anyone who can click a mouse. Some of my favorites are: DLTK’s Printable Crafts for Kids
The Perpetual Preschool and Preschool Express .

Don’t get me wrong. There can be a place for those worksheets…if used properly.

I put them in my “office area” for the children to work on whenever they are role-playing going to work at the office. There, they can work on the computer and do their paper work, during the extended playtime which is the cornerstone of our program.

Every day those pages change to represent the daily theme. There are a multitude of office supplies on that table for them to use on their work pages. Crayons, colored pencils, markers, scissors, tape, glue sticks, several hole punchers with many different shapes, and my favorite prop – the rainbow maker.

There is no right or wrong way to do THEIR work.

Summer’s over. It was a long and difficult two months. I was employed to work with a group of seven children – six of whom could have been diagnosed with special needs. One of them actually was. I was unprepared for what I was asked to do, but I did it, and I have a new respect for those who CHOOSE to work with these special children. Their work is very demanding and relentless. The progress is measured in VERY small increments, but rewarding to see, nonetheless.

I took a two week break after the summer job finished. One week for myself and one week to get the Playschool ready for the new school year.

The Playschool re-opened on the 14th of September to a group of 7 new children and 6 returning children. Ten of them came on our first day. Grace came through the door on that first day announcing that she was going to make a new friend. The next child through the door was Iris. Grace looked at her and asked her, “Will you be my friend?” Iris answered, “Yes!” and they have been BFF’s (best friends forever) ever since! Wouldn’t it be nice if it was always that easy! Several of our new boys knew each other from a previous preschool experience, and two others are cousins, so the adjustment to our program was quick and easy.

For the first time since I began working here, we did not enroll any new International children. Three of our children from last year are from overseas so Russia and Canada/Switzerland are still represented. The rest are all local children from the US. This, of course, helped the transition with everyone already knowing enough English to communicate with ease. It will, however, have an effect on our final theme of Flags Around the World and the International picnic on the last day.

Anyway, it’s good to be back home.

Today was the last day of school. We had planned an International picnic outside in the courtyard. All of the parents were bringing a food from their culture. All week long we were making flags from India, South Korea, Canada, Switzerland, Russia, Nepal, China and the USA.

It was a celebration of all the children from around the world who had joined our class this school year. Everyone cooperated… except Mother Nature. Yes, it rained. So, we had our picnic inside the room. The children have been excited about this special day all month. We talked about it every day at calendar time. Their faces were hesitantly beaming with anticipation.

Now the day was here. Children slowly started coming in. I could see by their expressions that they were not sure of how this day would make them feel. There was pause in their demeanor. Gradually they started doing the things they did every day. There were undertones of excitement, coupled with anxiety. The energy level was higher, but at the same time, subdued. They knew good things were coming, but……

We spent the first hour and a half playing and doing crafts as usual. Then it was time to clean up and gather together to go through our group time activities. When we finished, it was picnic time and everyone sat and ate their fill of food from Nepal, Russia, Switzerland, China and America. One of the parents brought in a cake (of which they will have leftovers for the next two weeks!) to celebrate the graduation of the two children who are heading to Kindergarten in the Fall. There were a few others who will not return to our program in September. This was to be their last day with our Playschool as well.

When everyone finished eating, we all gathered together again so I could hand out the gifts I had purchased for this awesome group of children who shared their lives with me for the past year. (Sara for two years.) After the gifts, there were many hugs, sniffles and goodbyes, and soon everyone began to leave.

My sweet Sara informed her parents, through a flood of tears, that graduation was NOT a happy time. She is SO perceptive. We all tried to comfort her, to no avail. I told her that we would see her again whenever her new school was closed. Luckily, there were other alumni children at the party to prove my point. Even though life goes on, as it should, Sara was right. Graduation is NOT always a happy time.

Just ask a teacher….

We had a wonderful party at school today!

We have been doing a circus theme all week, making crafts of lions, tigers, elephants, monkeys and clowns. Then today was party day! Our first hour was spent playing 9 different circus games. There was the Tightrope Walker stepping carefully across the balance beam, the Tumbler doing somersaults and roll-overs on the floor mat, the Knock-the-Clowns-Down with a ball thrown at the shoe boxes, the flannel board Clown Faces, the “painted” Animal Crackers using spray-can icing and sprinkles, the ever popular Bean-Bag Toss into the basket, the Where’s the Tiger’s Ball Hiding? game with the ball hiding under one of three cups, the Ride the Horse Around the Ring using galloping horses and a circle of masking tape on the floor, and my personal favorite….The Monkeys Have Escaped where I made a monkey cage out of a cardboard box and cut a small door in one side. I copied several (47 to be exact) monkey pictures on colored copy paper and taped them all around the room. Each child was instructed to find 3 monkeys and return them to the monkey house. As each child entered the school, they had to purchase a ticket to the circus and receive a game card with stickers. With instructions to place a sticker on their game card each time they played a game, they were sent through a Hula Hoop “ring of fire” and into the playroom to begin.

I spent almost four hours yesterday setting up the room to prepare for the fun. When I was finished, it didn’t look like much until…..TODAY when it was filled with 14 children, 6 alumni siblings, and parents and grandparents of all! WOW! What a turnout! It was like a bee’s nest of activity in there! Everyone playing games and mingling and talking and smiling! Cameras were flashing and everyone seemed so happy. I stood back and admired the whole thing. I felt good about my year and my class. Such a great group of children and parents this year. We had become a family!

And it didn’t end there. An hour after the party started, we had to clear a space for the CLOWN! A real, live clown came to perform her magic and fun with the children! She did tricks and songs and face/hand painting for an entire hour! Freckles the Clown paints the BEST figures… . I saw beautiful princess faces and Spiderman characters and Batman and snakes and Hello Kitty and fire engines and Clifford the Big, Red Dog and diamond bracelets and Ariel and a tiger face and, oh my goodness, I can’t remember them all. Oh yeah, there was a big beautiful butterfly, too!

When Freckles finished her show, it was time for the circus snack. Not a healthy food in sight! Peanuts, Cracker Jacks, Candied Apples, Cotton Candy, Mini Hot Dogs, Ice Cream…you name it. If you could find it at the circus, it was on our snack table! It was all topped off with a Party Favor Bag to bring home with stickers, bubbles, and popcorn.

We ended our day outside on the playground under clear skies of about 80 degrees. Man! It just doesn’t get any better than that! I went outside to sit and chat with the parents and to say goodbye to some of our children who were leaving the program for the summer. I talked and sat under the shade of our very own Playschool tree which we planted several years ago and just thought about how lucky I was to be there.

When everyone went home, I went back inside and found that the room was completely cleaned up from the entire days’ activities. I grabbed my keys and my teacher bag full of the circus plans, turned off the lights and closed the door. Another day done in the life of a child.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been working with young children, you can always learn something new.

For many years I thought that information flowed from me to them. I remember the day I realized that it flowed in both directions. No matter how many activities I put together, no matter how many lessons I taught, I learned as much from them as they learned from me. Every child I enrolled in my class helped me learn something I didn’t know. They each brought a new personality or behavior that required me to learn a new technique or skill to deal with it.

Well, this past week, I learned something new again….but it was not from a child. It was from one of the parents in the class. It was something clever enough to share with you all.

Here’s what she shared:
Whenever Mom was about to do something that she KNEW would elicit a protest from her children, (she has 3 young girls) she would prepare herself for the inevitable display of disapproval by setting the kitchen timer for two minutes. She then explained to her girls that they would be allowed to protest as loudly and vehemently as they wanted, but ONLY UNTIL THE BELL RANG. It worked especially well one evening as she was preparing an unwanted entree for dinner. They all shouted and screamed……until the timer went off. Then, it was done. Over with. Silence. No more protest.

It worked like a charm!

Thanks, Julie.

Happy, Joyful, Silly. Sad, Angry, Frustrated. Lots of emotions fill a classroom. The first three are pretty easy to deal with. Sometimes all they require is a smile or a hug. It’s the second trio that challenges the best of us. Especially anger. It’s out of control. It’s unpredictable. It’s full of anxiety, never knowing how it will end. How do we get a handle on this? How can we calm this child down? He is screaming very loudly with flailing arms and legs.

The first thing you do is…..repeat what they are saying. Help them KNOW that you hear them and understand what they want. This doesn’t mean you necessarily give in to the demand. Just get them to hear you SAY what they are saying. Say it as many times as it takes to get the desired effect. If they are not saying specific words that you can repeat, try saying what you THINK they want. Keep guessing until you find the right words.

Once they have settled down, you can now reason and work out the problem. If it escalates again, do the same thing again. Repeat what they are saying, always using a calm voice. Don’t try to out-shout them. Hugging and gently holding them to be sure they don’t hurt themselves or others while calmly talking through the situation works best. If possible, try moving to a space away from everyone else. Children feel very scared when they are out of control. Think of how YOU feel when you’re out of control. It’s not very comfortable. And you’re an adult. You can think and react on a much higher cognitive level. A child needs to rely on an adult to remain calm and help them through this tough time. They will follow your lead as they transition to a more peaceful resolution, but only if they KNOW you understand.

In a previous blog, I wrote about the STEP program and my favorite chapter Natural and Logical Consequences. I would like to expand on this technique a bit more.

In the manual, they explain the difference between this approach and the reward-and-punishment approach. The R-and-P approach makes parents/teachers responsible for the child’s behavior. Children don’t learn how to make their own decisions. They may only show acceptable behavior when there is an authority figure present.

With the Natural and Logical Consequence technique, a child is offered a choice about something. (See PRESETS AND CHOICES) He is allowed to make his own decision, but must deal with the consequence of his decision. The consequence may be natural or logical.

With a Natural consequence, the child learns through the natural or social order of events. (If they refuse to eat, they feel hungry. If they refuse to wear socks, their feet get cold, etc.) The child now becomes responsible for his own actions. He/she learns the natural order of things rather than being forced to adhere to the wishes of an authority figure.

With a Logical Consequence, the parent or teacher “imposes” the consequence, but it must be based on logic. It must “fit the crime”. (If a child refuses to help clean up the blocks, they may not use the blocks the next time they want them. If they decide to skip snack or lunch when it is served, they will have to wait until dinner to eat again.)

I use choice-decision-consequence many times each day. It has become an effective tool in teaching my children responsibility in the classroom. They now help with clean-up with far less resistance. They ask me “what can I do?” They have fewer “melt-downs” when, after realizing the consequence, they don’t like a decision they have made. Classroom safety rules and boundaries are not tested as often. It leaves my day feeling more relaxed and free to enjoy the children.

And I DO enjoy my kids!

There is a place for “No”.
A child is running toward the busy road. “NO!”
A block is about to be hurled through the air. “NO!”
A child decides to explore under the kitchen sink. “NO!”

You see the pattern here? There is almost always serious danger involved. We need to recognize when it is imperative to just say “NO!”, and when we have TIME to use more words.

When you have the time to use more words, the words should be positive.

Someone is climbing on a shelf. “Feet down, please.”
Someone is running in a “no-running zone”. “Walk, please.”
Someone is trying to take a toy from a classmate. “May I have that toy, please? Now, let’s talk about this.”

If your classroom is full of “NO” and DON’T”, you will have an atmosphere reflecting that. Screaming, yelling, hitting, kicking, pushing, crying, biting…etc. Doesn’t sound like a place you want to go to every morning, does it? Children don’t get the same results with their peers when they just say no. They have to resort to stronger behaviors to get the same results. So let’s not have a power struggle with them. Let’s just teach them how to say and do things using a positive approach.

Children learn from what they see and hear. A happy, fun and safe classroom is created by the ways in which we express ourselves around the children. If we are speaking with constructive, positive statements, the children will learn to do the same with each other.

It all begins with training ourselves to use positive phrases… and that takes time. However, when you start seeing the results, you’ll LOVE going to work every day!

Be positive.

Before computers, before the Internet, before cyberspace, we teachers had to rely on books and each other to find ideas for lesson plans, arts and crafts, large motor exercises, dramatic play experiences, play dough recipes and…………. BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT! I was always scanning mailings and flyers for anything new to help me get through another day. Then… I found it! A manual called THE PARENT’S HANDBOOK / STEP ( SYSTEMATIC TRAINING FOR EFFECTIVE PARENTING) by Don Dinkmeyer & Gary D. McKay. It was copywrited 1982.

I had just accepted a job in a day care working with a class of ten two-year-olds, and I thought I could use all the help I could get. Little did I know that this book would be my lifeline to sanity for the rest of my teaching career. It was obviously written for parents, but I thought I could put some of the techniques to use in my classroom as well.

So… I started reading. WOW! There was SO much information in just the first chapter that I knew this was going to be an overwhelming project for me to grasp all that these two gentlemen were sharing. I wanted so badly to be able to understand ALL of it at first read. It’s NOT that kind of manual. It is best used as a reference book to be used as the occasions arise. And, believe me, occasions arose!

I knew that a group of two’s would present me with enough challenges to keep me busy every moment of my day. I was going to need some guidelines for myself to be able to keep up with these “energizer bunnies”. The STEP PROGRAM became the source of those guidelines. Chapter after chapter was a goldmine of information that could easily be applied to my classroom…and I did just that! I began to see happier, more cooperative children. Going to work was no longer a chore, but something I actually looked forward to. My days were easier and I felt more in control every day. The anxiety about HOW to handle these toddlers slowly disappeared. Have you ever heard anyone describe a toddler room as CALM? You should have seen it! I remember sitting on the floor in the center of the room one day during the “cold” season, with a box of tissues, a waste basket and antiseptic wash for 45 MINUTES STRAIGHT! Five two-year-olds playing around me while I just wiped noses and watched them play. Not one squabble! It was a day I will never forget!

Anyway, back to the manual….

My favorite chapter is about Natural and Logical Consequences: A Method of Discipline That Develops Responsibility.What I learned from that chapter alone has served me well for 27 years! I have incorporated those techniques into every classroom I’ve worked in since then, and found a great comfort level with my own personal style, as well as the positive results I have enjoyed from using them with the children. Many times, I use a very simplified version of the techniques described in this chapter, but the desired results are clearly evident. The child CHOOSES to do the right thing.

“I was a baby when I was in Rochester”, three-year-old Alexandra told me today while we were having snack.

So I said to her, “Oh? Were you born there?”

After thinking about it for a minute, Alex replied, “Yeah.”

I asked, “Where do you live now?”

She answered, “I live in Cohoes now.”

I said, “Your baby sister, Tori was born in Cohoes, right?” Alex looked confused. ”Not Rochester”, I added.

Seeing a very pensive look on her face, Alex finally offered, “No, Baby Tori was born in a hospital.”

Silly me.

We all have experienced the challenging child, whether parenting at home or teaching in a classroom. I like to call them “au contraire” children. You say “black”, they say “white”. No matter what you want them to do, they will resist or just simply refuse. You can demand obedience with yelling and anger, beg and plead until your face turns blue, or simply give up trying, out of exasperation. None of which will produce WILLING cooperation, which is the ultimate goal.

We all like to feel like we’re in control. Children are no different. No one likes to be told what to do. So the question remains, HOW do we get children to cooperate, yet allow them to feel like they are in control. One answer is choices. Get the children involved in the decision-making process.

The adult must make the decision WHAT needs to be done. Say you need to do some grocery shopping. Most likely, you are already spending energy fretting about the inevitable protest. Instead, spend that energy on brainstorming ideas you will present to your child that will offer the child choices relating to HOW this will be accomplished. Before you even mention going to the store, give your child a “preset”. These are the words we use to prepare a child for a future event. Children like to know what’s coming. Suddenly interrupting their play is asking for trouble. Tell them “We are going to the store after lunch today. You will have time to play until the timer rings. Then we will clean up your toys and get our coats on to go.” This is the preset. Be sure to allow yourself enough time to deal with possible resistance, when setting the timer.

When the bell rings, offer choices about HOW the clean-up will happen. “Shall we put away the red toys first, or the blue toys?” etc. Be sure to stay involved and offer choices all along the way if necessary. Younger children (2-4 years old) will only be able to handle 2 or 3 choices at a time.

When it’s time to get your coats on, ”Do you want Mommy to help you, or do you want to do it yourself?” Or maybe, “Do you want the red coat, or the green coat with the stripes?”

Now it’s time to go to the car. “Would you like to walk to the car or shall Mommy carry you?”

On your way to the store, it’s a good time for more presets. “When we get in the store, you may choose one fruit for yourself. Then you can help Mommy get the rest of the groceries.” You may have to limit the fruit choices to a few on one particular shelf. Remember, too many choices are overwhelming for young children.

The more you practice these behavior management techniques, the easier they will become for you, and the more WILLINGLY cooperative your child will become.

Be patient. Be creative. Behave.

So…. I am in the kitchen at my preschool this morning and I hear my name being called by one of the children. I peak around the corner into the playroom to see Sara “calling” me on a play phone.

I said to her, “I can’t answer. I don’t have a phone.”

So she gets a toy phone off the shelf and brings it to me. Then she called me again on her phone.

“Chrissie? Chrissie?” , she called.

“Yes?” I responded, talking into my phone.

“Can you come over here and help us get the dress off the clothes pole?”

Apparently, asking for help now requires a PHONE CALL to the teacher!

It’s that time of year when I begin to feel a bit anxious about whether or not I will have a summer job. Last year, I spent the month of July looking for work and interviewing at three prospective schools. Each one told me that they were looking for someone to begin working in September. I already HAD a job for September! I needed something for July and August. I ended up collecting unemployment for the summer and couldn’t wait to get back to my own preschool in the Fall. I knew that I had to begin searching soon….
Well, I’m cleaning off the kitchen table one night, and I find a note that a director from a day care I worked at for the past several summer’s had called. The next day, I returned her call.
“Chris? It’s Susan.”
“Hi! Susan!”
“Would you like a full time job this summer?”
“OH MY GOODNESS! YES!!!!”
“I have a group of FIVE four-year-olds. Three of them are triplets! I will open the Teddy Bear room for you.”
“WOW” Sure! I can do that! Is the opening shift available?”
“Seven to three-thirty?”
“Yes.”
“Sure. You can have that!”
“Thanks, Susan! I’ll have to get back to you after I talk to my parents at my preschool to see about the summer program I always offer them. How soon do you need a definite answer?”
“By the end of April? Is that ok?”
“Sure. I’ll put out a notice tomorrow to get their answers.”
“OK, I’ll talk to you soon.”
“OK, bye for now, Susan.”
And I didn’t even have to begin my search!!!!!